013: Tomorrow [and Titus Andronicus]

I feel like I have words to say, but I have no meaning behind them. The motivation for the typing of these projected characters onto this MacBook screen is born out of a desire to not think about the free time I have coming up, four days off of the day job means time to focus on the procrastination pile in the corner. It is night time in New York now, and while the kitchen needs cleaned, I did some dishes, but not all, I have a podcast to listen to in the morning and that audio company makes the chores go down easier. I am but attempting to create content in order to not think about the looming disaster of free time peaking over the mountain. 

I have four days off, and that means lot of my worst fear, free time. Yes, I have two shoots scheduled during that I don’t consider work, as well as a book I want to put together, and some marketing work I desperately need done (maybe save me that checklist entry and just hire me?)  But basically I have nothing to do which means a spirited battle against my arch nemesis. So I am here, writing “content” that lacks any real depth, in just one more attempt at me procrastinating the harsh realities of down time. 

I’ve used this space a lot to ask questions rattling around in my head, with little to no attempt at answering them for the reader, because frankly, I’m not interested in doing all the heavy lifting around here. I’m already a mildly bemused, slightly agitated, can’t-find-a-softer-word-than-‘tortured’ artist forcing my conscious to be interested in the more marketable aspects of life, why should I also have the other half of the conversation? You need to do better, reader, you lazy entitled fuck.

Perhaps free time is the greatest fear in my life right now. What does one do with it? So much pressure, give me break, just let me relax. Some people can relax in their free time, I am lacking in that skill set thus far in my time on this planet. When a free hour or two block comes up on my calendar, I generally react by audibly cursing, then wondering around worrying about what to do in that block of time until it passes and I have the next task assigned to me by my trusty calendar app. If I’m being really productive, I will move things around on my calendar while I have free time, moving the blocks around like chess pieces in a mad dash to avoid the checkmate of life’s unassigned block that hides behind every clock tick.

Anywhos, here’s some pictures of Titus Andronicus from the An Obelisk release show.